All I Ever Wanted
by Peyt4Luke4eva
Summary: **ON HIATUS** AU. Peyton Sawyer hadn't meant to keep on spending the night in the arms of her friend Lucas Scott. But she couldn't stop herself and as their secret affair continued to "just happen" they edged closer and closer to a real relationship.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note - Hey guys. Well this idea popped into my head while I was on holiday and was all chilled out. It's AU; it'll be a max of ten chapters and not as angsty or drama filled as my other two fics. Even I need some light relief ha! The story is fairly self explanatory, but any questions just ask. As you all probably know by now I like to try different things so as always let me know if it's worth continuing or not. Thanks and enjoy.

Summary - Commitment phobic Peyton Sawyer hadn't meant to keep on ending the night in the arms of her friend Lucas Scott. But she couldn't stop herself and as their secret affair continued to "just happen" they edged ever closer to a real relationship.

**All I Ever Wanted**

**Chapter 1 – Just for Now**

At the annoying sound of her alarm clock buzzing Peyton Sawyer had rolled over obnoxiously and in her efforts to silence the offending item she collided with the warm body that had been sleeping beside her. She quickly recoiled her arm and sat up abruptly clutching the wrinkled sheet tightly to her chest and ignoring the dishevelled curls that hung over her face. She closed her eyes shut and took a deep breath before she chanced another look over her shoulder in his direction.

Lucas Scott sluggishly opened his very blue eyes and smiled at her. "Morning," he rasped as he stretched his arms calmly and languorously.

The images of the night before flooded back into her mind. They'd been out to celebrate his newly acquired publishing deal and after both of them were dizzied from the effects of alcohol they had gone back to her place. Peyton had ordered pizza and Lucas had cracked open a couple of beers. They had settled on to the couch laughing and talking into the small hours of the morning. From what her fuzzy memory recalled he had initiated what had happened next as he told her that she was beautiful and had then asked if he could kiss her.

At the time she had giggled and had felt flattered at the same time. She hadn't been sure if he was serious but she had let him. As he had given her his boyish grin and asked if he could do it again she had of course crossed the line by leaning in and letting him and the rest had just happened.

"Oh god," she groaned then and she rubbed at her sleep deprived eyes. The awkwardness of the situation overtook her. They were friends, good friends and she didn't want to jeopardise that.

"Peyt, it's ok." He sat up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

She shook him off all too sharply. Of course he thought it was ok. He was a guy who'd just had his way with his best friend. For her she had over stepped the mark with the one man she felt safe and sure of herself with.

Peyton toyed with the silk comforter, drawing patterns with her finger in an effort to avoid his intent eyes. She hadn't woken up from a drunken night like this one since college. She had no idea how she was supposed to act with him. Was she supposed to play it cool? Be desperate and demand to know whether this changed everything between them? In the past she would have made it clear that in no uncertain terms did she want any sort of a relationship. With Lucas it was different. She didn't want the events of the previous night to hang between them.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked then stirring her from her thoughts.

"Yeah," she had uttered noncommittally. "No. I don't know."

Unsure of what to do Lucas pulled himself up then and scoured the bedroom for his clothes. After he'd pulled on the last item of clothing he brushed a hand through his dishevelled sandy blonde hair and let out a chuckle.

"What?" she snapped. She slowly felt her irritation with him dissolve and she began to laugh too. His laugh was so warm and seemed to come from somewhere deep within his heart. His laugh was infectious and she often found the sound would have her giggling despite the situation or how much he may have annoyed her.

"So I'm kind of wishing there was some guide as to what I'm supposed to do or say next," he said then sitting down beside her.

Clearing her dry throat Peyton lifted her head to make eye contact with him. "Me too."

"Do you want to talk it?" he suggested.

"Not really. It just sort of happened right?" she said not sure if it was him or herself who needed convincing more. "I don't want it to change things."

"It won't."

"Lucas sex always changes things." Peyton twirled her hair absentmindedly around her finger.

"Maybe. Maybe not. But we've been friends for far too long to let one drunken mistake ruin that." It was true. In the three years they had known each other they'd weathered through bad relationships, him trying to make a success of his writing career, her opening a local art gallery and anything else life had thrown at them.

"So we just forget it?" she asked arching her brow.

Lucas shrugged his shoulders. "We're friends Peyt. I don't want to lose that. Look I don't know about you but I'm starving," he was keen to take the lead in demonstrated that everything was ok and unchanged between them. "So why don't you get your skinny butt out of bed and I'll make us some breakfast."

"Ok," Peyton swung her legs over the bed taking the sheet with her. She found one of the oversized shirts she liked to wear whilst painting and threw it on tying her tousled curls into a messy ponytail. She padded across her wooden floor and followed him on through.

He was already busying himself in her kitchen. He moved with such precision and ease as he rummaged through her drawers and cupboards. He knew by now where everything was without having to ask. It was her kitchen and he spent more time in it than he did in his own. As he tied her apron around his waist she had to smile.

"Best make yourself useful Blondie," he chided as he tossed her the unopened bag of Italian roast she had just purchased.

Peyton made the coffee adding cream and sugar to his just the way he liked it and then turned to watch him whipping the ingredients in a bowl to her favourite breakfast of pancakes. He caught her stare and offered her a shy smile.

Lucas Scott was one of the most beautiful men Peyton had ever seen. He had those vivid blue eyes, boyish yet chiselled features and the perfect body from his basketball days. He was a charmer. Or at least he could be charming when he wasn't squinting his broody orbs or goofing around stupidly with her. He was kind and sincere balancing out her sarcastic and often fickle nature.

They had first met each other on an unofficial blind date. She had been new in town and her old college roommate Haley James Scott was married to his brother. Lucas had come along so she wouldn't be a third wheel. She remembered how they hadn't got on initially. She had just come out of a long term relationship and he had tried too hard to be friendly and it had served only to irritate her. He had written her off as rude as he walked her home that first night. She had thought that she wouldn't ever see him again.

As chance would have it they had run into each other the very next day. He had been working at the coffee shop she frequented. Slowly as he talked to her making her double shot extra foam cappuccinos she had learnt they had a lot in common. He was working on his first novel and she was a frustrated artist. They shared a passion for live music and she realised he was one of the last remaining good guys in the world. They had become friends quickly after that.

Once Lucas had cooked up a storm in her small terracotta kitchen they sat down to eat. Lucas had wolfed down his food but Peyton suddenly found she hadn't got the appetite.

"So Lucas Scott," Peyton said only half jokingly as she stared into her coffee mug. "I better not end up in your little black book."

Lucas had sagged a little with embarrassment in his chair but he said, "Nah you're going to be stored in my phone." Back in the day Lucas had had his pick of the girls. He'd told her that the numbers of the ones he liked were written into his black book and the ones he really liked were saved into his phone. "You should feel privileged."

"Is that right?" she threw back. She took a bite of her pancakes and enjoyed the sweet taste.

"Well I hate to eat and run but I should go. Some of us don't have the luxury of being our own boss." He stood up and pulled on his jacket before flashing her a devilish smile. "Don't go kissing anyone."

"You are such a jackass," she slapped him playfully on the arm.

"I'll call you later." He bent down and gave her a peck on the cheek before he disappeared out of the door leaving her to wonder if a guy and a girl could really ever be just friends.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note - Hi there everyone. Thanks you to all who read, reviewed and alerted to this story. It means a lot. Sorry for such a long delay for the next post. I know I am not the fastest updater; I can be way too slow and it frustrates me too.

**All I Ever Wanted**

**Chapter 2 – Goodnight and Go**

Lucas sat in the coffee shop after his shift had ended and he waited for his new editor to arrive. He tapped his fingers on the polished surface of the table. Despite the heavy anticipation of his novel finally being published and the excitement that stirred within him; his head kept wondering back to the unexpected night of passion he had just spent with Peyton.

He'd be lying if he said he didn't see her a little differently now. She was a great friend and she always looked out for him. Peyton wasn't like the girls he'd grown up with in Tree Hill. Peyton was unlike the ones that had fallen so readily at his and his brother's feet as they continued on with their father's basketball legacy.

Peyton was instead tough and headstrong with a wilful mind and a sharp tongue. She could definitely take care of herself. But behind all the bravado and quick quips was a girl with a heart of gold who just wanted to be loved. They were the best of friends but Lucas had always secretly adored the blonde beauty who was comfortable enough in herself to parade around in her tiny bed shorts whilst wearing no makeup and who would tease him constantly. Peyton was intense and expressive. She had made a success out of her art and had refused to bend her ideals and integrity to do so.

"Lucas Scott?"

Lucas snapped back into reality and his eyes locked with those belonging to a tall brunette. He pulled himself up to his feet.

"I'm Lindsey, Lindsey Strauss. We spoke on the phone. It's really great to finally meet you," she said pleasantly as she shook his hand.

"Likewise," he beamed at the woman who had finally taken an interest in his book after months and months of nothing but rejection letters. "Let me get you a coffee," Lucas said as she busied herself with unpacking her laptop.

They spent the afternoon pawing over his works and sipping endless shots of espresso. It was hard for him to accept that this determined young editor was going to butt heads with him every step of the way; over every small detail but he couldn't help but feel grateful to her for giving him this chance. This was his shot.

"So I was wondering if you'd like to go for a drink later." Lindsey ventured as the coffee shop was due to close. "And I can make up for the fact that this afternoon was kind of intense for you. I don't know anyone in this town and I don't really fancy spending the evening alone in my motel room."

Lucas opened his mouth; he wanted to brush her off. She seemed nice enough but his mind instinctively returned to Peyton.

"Come on, just a couple of drinks," she encouraged.

He smiled at her. "Sure why not. Actually my friend is having an art exhibition in her gallery so we could stop by there," he suggested without really thinking.

Lindsey smiled as she slung her laptop bag over her shoulder. "Sounds great," she flashed him a grin. She scribbled her address down on her pad before tearing off the slip of paper. "Pick me up at 8?" she said.

-- --

In her gallery Peyton stood with a glass of champagne cradled delicately between her fingertips as she watched people view, examine and evaluate her work. She felt that swell of pride and achievement she always felt when she could share her passion and her craft with others.

The lighting in large open space was soft and focused upon her various canvasses. The background music was soft and mellow as it resonated throughout the room. She smiled as men and women chattered quietly as they appreciated her art.

"P. Sawyer," the familiar and cheery voice carried across the room and Peyton turned to watch as Brooke Davis sashayed her way across the room and embraced her warmly.

The two had been best friends since they were eight years old. Even at their young age the two girls had formed a bond due to the fact they both had absentee parents. Peyton had been sent to a private school in Manhattan after her mother died and father didn't really know how to cope with his distraught and confused daughter. He wanted the best for her; she knew that, though his actions were perhaps misguided. They may have seemed like an odd pairing, Brooke was rich and spoilt and Peyton a rebellious loner, but they had quickly become almost like sisters. Brooke's perky nature balanced out Peyton's negative disposition. The girls had lived together after graduation in New York before Peyton had retreated for the quiet of North Carolina. Now the two would try and visit each other as often as work and their busy life styles permitted.

"I'm so glad you could make it. It's great to see you," Peyton said wholeheartedly. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. And I have news," Brooke's deep brown eyes brimmed with the excitement she could barely contain. She brandished her perfectly manicured hand with a flick as her face broke into a wide grin. The large diamond ring that sat on her left hand sparkled. "I'm getting married. Chase asked me to marry him."

"Oh wow," the joy emitting from her best friend was infectious and Peyton moved back to hug her best friend. "That's wonderful Brooke. Congratulations." Brooke deserved to be happy. Having conquered the fashion world at such a young age Brooke had found that a genuine relationship was hard to come by. Men seemed to be far more interested in the prestige and celebrity that came with dating the young woman rather than being with Brooke herself.

Peyton liked Chase, she'd met him several times before and he seemed sweet and attentive towards her friend and she certainly couldn't remember a time when Brooke had been more content and happy in herself.

"It was so romantic Peyton," Brooke gushed as she was recounted the proposal. "Chase took me for a moonlit picnic in Central Park. He'd put the ring in my champagne glass. He got down on one knee and I cried before I could even say yes."

"Well we definitely need a drink to celebrate," Peyton announced plucking two glasses of champagne from a nearby waiter's tray. "I'm glad you're happy B. Davis," she said as the girls clinked their glasses together. "You really deserve to be happy."

"And I want you to be my maid of honour?" the brunette uttered then as if the question didn't have but just one possible answer.

"I'd love too," Peyton smiled pulling Brooke back in for a hug.

"So what about you?" Brooke asked after taking a sip of champagne. "Do you have anyone in mind to bring as a date to the wedding?"

Peyton shrugged, "not really," she stated simply.

"You could bring _Lucas_," Brooke put heavy emphasis on his name. She had always thought that the two's friendship would inevitably lead to more.

"Maybe," Peyton replied nonchalantly and traced her finger on the rim of her glass.

"You two had sex didn't you?" Brooke surveyed her with keen eyes and a devilish grin.

"What?" Peyton was taken aback. She guessed Brooke knew her even better than she thought. She tried to arrange her face so that she wasn't reflecting guilt, embarrassment or overdone surprise. In spite of her efforts she felt the heat rising to her cheeks.

"You did didn't you," the brunette rasped joyously.

"Maybe," Peyton admitted then before taking a large gulp of her champagne.

Brooke smiled smugly. "So are you going to _see_ him again?" she asked then and Peyton inwardly rolled her eyes. They both knew full well that Peyton Sawyer didn't do one night stands. Intimacy of any kind was a big deal for her.

Peyton groaned. Brooke was enjoying this far too much.

Brooke kinked her brow, "ok P. Sawyer, so what's the problem?"

"Who said there was a problem?" Peyton answered.

"Honey with you there's always a problem."

Peyton opened her mouth in frustration. "It's just complicated," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "He's my friend."

"Complicated is when he's attached, married, gay or a crazy stalker." Brooke stated provoking a scowl from her friend. "Lucas is sweet, cute and adores you."

Peyton didn't have time to respond to the comments just made as her eyes locked onto Lucas and _his date_ as they approached.

"Hey, there you are," Lucas said. By way of greeting he gave Peyton a kiss to the cheek. "I tried calling you. The place looks great. Great turn out. Hey Brooke." Brooke held up her hand in a gesture of a slight wave and Peyton smiled thinly; her eyes were only focused on the new arrival.

"This is Lindsey," Lucas explained obliviously. "She's my new editor."

"Yeah," Peyton said offhandedly. "We already met. Excuse me." She shot Lindsey a look before she turned on her heel and make for a hasty escape.

Lucas's eyes fell questioningly to Brooke and Brooke pursed her lips together before she loyally followed her friend's trail.

"We knew each other from New York," Lindsey explained for him. "Can you take me home?"

-- --

Lucas had taken Lindsey back to her motel room and now walked along the quiet and chilly streets with his hands in his pockets. He'd had every intention earlier of watching the highlights of the evening's basketball game and having a few drinks in his own apartment. He'd figured Peyton would need space and time to think due to her reactions earlier and yet he still made a beeline for her.

He spotted Peyton from afar as she was locking up her now darkened gallery. She took his breath away as the silky fabric of her emerald dress moved like liquid against her body.

"Hey Blondie," he called gently as he approached and she turned to face him. She wrapped her arms around her slim frame in an effort to shield herself from the cold and offered him a small smile. He took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders making her smile at his chivalry.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Sure," he said simply before falling into step beside her as they walked the small distance to her place.

Peyton let them both into her apartment. She dropped her keys onto the table and tossed the leather jacket onto the couch. "Coffee?" she suggested casually crossing the room.

"Sure." For the first time that she could even remember Lucas acted like a guest in her home. He waited for her to flick on the lights and turn the CD player on low as she always did out of habit. He followed her movements to the kitchen and chose to remain leaning against the door frame.

Peyton made their drinks in silence grateful for the monotonous task that enabled her to collect her thoughts. Then once she turned to hand him his steaming drink she jumped slightly being as he was now standing right next to her. She hadn't heard his approach and she simply offered the red mug. He took it from her before setting it down on the counter.

"What did you want to talk about?" he asked then. His hand brushed away to tousled curls from her face. He often did that saying he wanted to see her eyes when they talked. Normally she would swat his hand away but this time she didn't. He cupped her cheek in his hand.

"Well I..." her mind went blank as she met his blue eyes. His nose grazed with her own, their proximity was that close. Her legs weakened and her mouth became dry. She wondered since when did he have that thrall over her. "It's just that....."

Lucas bent to kiss her cutting off her stifled speech. She responded with a heated and newly found affection for him. Her arms wrapped their way around his neck before she could even register what she was doing.

"Lucas," she pulled herself from him as an afterthought. "That isn't what this is."

"Really?" he stroked the glossy material against her back sending tremors up her spine. "Because if I'm honest I think it's kinda cute that you're jealous."

"Jealous?" Peyton snorted incredulously. "I am not jealous. I just don't like her."

"Ok," he replied as he conceded. "So are you going to tell me what this is about then?"

"She, um, she hurt a friend of mine." She offered by way of an explanation. "She's just not a very nice person. And I don't want to see you get hurt."

Satisfied with her response as he placed a kiss to her forehead. "Ok," he said lightly. Peyton could be so overwhelmingly lovable as she protected those closest to her. She had easily infiltrated the close bonds of him, Nathan and Haley when she had first moved to Tree Hill because of her uncompromising loyalty and good heart.

"Just be careful," she whispered.

"You're really sweet you know that?" As he provoked a smile from her he pulled her closer again. "So may I kiss you Ms Sawyer?"

Peyton felt her words stick in her throat and she just stared at him and he stared back. His crystal blue eyes told her he was serious. The two of them seemed almost lost in a silent battle between want and logic. She liked that Lucas never seemed flustered around her. Most men blathered and soon gave into her head strong and wily nature. Lucas remained strong and determined.

She noticed now how his button down shirt hugged his finely toned arms as he held her, how in her kitten heels he stood still a few inches taller than her. She was so close to him now that she could smell his familiar and masculine cologne mingled with the vague traces of fabric softener; and she liked that too. Peyton bit her lip. One night together could easily be written off as a mistake, a moment of ill advised, weakened desire. More than one night placed them into a territory that she wasn't sure she was ready for. As she remained motionless with indecision Lucas brushed her lips with his own. He was gentle but insistent and she found herself kissing back.

-- --

Peyton woke into the darkness a mere couple of hours later. She presently lay in Lucas's arms as the two of them were now settled on her couch after their fevered passions had subsided. She carefully pried herself from his embrace and tiptoed across the room so as not too wake him. She crossed to her bedroom before pulling on a tank top and shorts. As she felt confusion set in she took out her sketch pad and pencil from her bedside table before settling cross-legged on the bed.

"What are you thinking about?" his voice broke her almost concentrated silence a few minutes later. She remembered telling him when they had first become close, and he had found her drawing, that her sketching was a way for her to express and work through her thoughts and feelings.

She felt Lucas's fingertips graze her bare shoulders as he lowered himself onto the bed beside her. She grasped the pencil in her hand before she spoke, "I'm thinking that this is the start of a disaster."

"Why?" he asked and she silently cursed that as she tried to push him away he returned by trying to get her to open up to him.

"Because it is," she stated sharply.

"Why can't this be the start of something more?" He'd told her more than once that sometimes her negativity made him feel like he was hitting his head against a brick wall. But it never seemed to deter him from her.

"Because Luke," she set her sketch pad down and stood up. She crossed her arms across her chest as she really looked at him. "Because friends that become lovers.....because...."

Lucas's dazzling smile spread across his face before he uttered, "You don't have an answer because there is no reason on this earth that says we can't be great together."

"Except most relationships end with one or more people being hurt and left miserable," she challenged.

"You are so damn cynical," he retorted not buying her rationale for a moment. "I think you're just scared and you're trying your damnedest to push me away."

Peyton clearly frustrated pushed her dishevelled curls back from her face as she took a deep breath. "We are too much alike Luke. We're both stubborn and temperamental. There are so many reasons why this is a bad idea. And eventually things will just go boom."

"That just sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy to me." They both knew all too well that Peyton was the type of girl who sabotaged her own relationships so she could avoid hurt and disappointment. "Peyton you already drive me crazy and I know I piss you off. But I also know that I really care about you and I know you feel the same way. You just need to try and trust me and try trusting in yourself."

Peyton sank back down onto the mattress not uttering a single word in protest now. He'd clearly stung her and instantly felt bad.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked after several minutes of silence.

She shook her head. "No," she managed. She turned to face him. "Stay."


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note – Hey guys, so just a quick thank you to everyone whose read, alerted to or reviewed this story. You always manage to make me smile. I hope you all enjoy the latest instalment, Kate.

**All I Ever Wanted**

**Chapter 3 – Until We Fall**

Bright searing light flooded through Peyton's eyes as she finally dared to open them just a fraction. It was just too painful and she immediately shut them again. She reached out for a pillow to shield her eyes from the offending blinding-ness but couldn't locate one. Even with her eyes closed firmly there were still flashing lights pouring their way through her head, squeezing tightly at her brain.

It slowly dawned on her that she had the beginnings of a migraine. As she was still vaguely aware of her surroundings experience told her it had not broken fully. Not yet anyway.

She groaned lowly. She didn't have time for a migraine. She had to meet with reporters and publicists regarding her exhibition. She had promised to meet Brooke for lunch to start planning for Brooke's wedding. She tried to sit up but her actions were in vain. Her head, her mouth and her eyes all felt so very tender and swollen. The agonising pain was enough to make her want to throw up. She collapsed back down onto the dishevelled bedding bringing a hand up to her sore brow.

Peyton had suffered from migraine since she was a teenager. The migraines had come first during her senior year. They had happened as she dealt with the stress of applying for colleges and then again as she studied for finals. She remembered how when she'd scream and cry out in their dorm Brooke would get scared.

She could hear the distant sounds of the shower going. Lucas was still in her apartment after she had asked him to stay with her the night before.

At the sound of her phone chiming Peyton dragged herself unsteadily from the bed. She was not really in any condition to try to move but the unwelcome noise served only to aggravate her throbbing skull. She crossed the room almost blindly as nausea hit its peak. Spikes of pain danced in the forefront of her mind and she had to grab onto the nearest piece of furniture to stay upright.

"Peyt?" Lucas appeared from the bathroom, a white towel wrapped at his waist. "Peyton are you ok?" He moved towards her, worry etched across both his face and tainted his speech.

His voice sounded as though it was coming from so far away and it served only to disorientate her further. "It's a migraine. I don't feel so good," she murmured. At that precise moment more pain exploded in her head. The entire room was suddenly an array of vivid pink, yellow, green and blue flashing lights.

Then suddenly everything went white as her knees buckled and she fell unconscious in Lucas's arms.

-- --

Slowly and wearily she pried her eyes open once again. This time she didn't feel the need to instantly snap them shut. The splintering pain was still located at the tender area behind her right eye but the flashing lights and the nausea had disappeared.

"Hey, you're awake," Lucas whispered. He didn't want to cause her any further discomfort. He'd drawn all the blinds and closed the doors in an effort to darken the room. He probably wouldn't admit it to her but as Peyton had collapsed on him he'd called his mom in a frantic panic. Karen had told him it was a migraine and had advised him of what to do. He had followed every step dutifully.

Peyton felt little smile trace its way onto her lips. Lucas was sitting beside her on the bed with a book in his hands. He now set it down as he looked at her with an expression of both concern and affection.

"You scared the hell out of me when you passed out on me and you wouldn't wake up."

"I passed out?" she asked as she furrowed her brow. "I'm sorry. That's never happened before. I guess I've been over doing it." She drew the covers up to her chin as the sensation of cold spread through her body.

Lucas stroked her hair lightly. "Ssh, don't worry about it. How do you feel now?"

"Like hell," she admitted groggily.

He reached for the painkillers and the glass of water he'd placed at her bedside until she woke up. "Take these, they'll help."

Peyton sat up against the pillows and took the little white pills from his outstretched hand. She swallowed them obediently before drinking a few sips of the liquid. The water soothed its way down her throat. "Thank you," she said as he took the glass from her and set it down again.

"You should probably try and sleep it off," Lucas advised then.

She nodded as she settled back into bed. She watched as he moved back to his side of the bed and retrieved his book, opening it at the place he had marked.

"You don't have to stay Luke," she said out loud. "I know you have stuff to do and really I'm fine now."

Lucas tossed her his boyish grin. "I already called to get cover at the cafe and I told Lindsey I couldn't meet with her today. And I spoke to your assistant at the gallery to explain to the press that you were sick and reschedule. Brooke called too and I told her you were sick so she'll call you tomorrow."

"You still don't have to stay with me," she uttered.

"I'm staying Peyton," he stated decisively. "So for once stop being stubborn and let me look after you." His expression was firm and unyielding and he focused his attentions back to his book indicating the discussion was over.

Peyton smiled in spite of herself. She hated to let herself need anyone. Being vulnerable scared her. She wanted to tell him she didn't want him there. And yet somehow Lucas's desire to take care of her spread a warm sensation through her body. She let her eyes flutter closed and felt herself drifting off as he continued to read beside her.

-- --

By the time Peyton stirred again it was fully dark. She had a slept the entire day away. She shifted carefully in effort not to agitate her head only to find the spikes of pain from early were thankfully blunt now. Only a dull throb at her temple was left as evidence of her torture. She moved stiffly into a seating position and removed the cool cloth Lucas had at some point placed on her forehead whilst she was out of it.

He was still there. This time he was standing by the window and looking out at the streets below. Her shuffling movements alerted him to the fact that she was now awake. He turned to her and ventured back over and sat down beside her. Wordlessly he gave her another glass of water which she sipped at gratefully.

Lucas, Tree Hill's would be playboy, continued to surprise her. In all her life and in all her past relationships she had never come across anyone who would drop everything just to take care of her. Men had told her before that they loved her and would do anything for her only to bail out at her real times of need or weakness. This blonde man with the squinty eyes and boyish charm was there just because he wanted to be. That knowledge made her heart sing and terrified her all at the same time.

"Thank you Luke," she said in a raspy voice. "Thank you for taking care of me. Thanks for everything you did for me today."

"Hey don't mention it," he brushed the stray messy curls from her eyes. His own set of orbs remained fixed on her. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her and he tried to convey that to her with just a look. "I'm just glad you're ok. So are you hungry? I can fix us some dinner?"

"I can always eat," she offered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh I know you can eat," he grinned as she playfully landed a punch to his forearm. He'd always tease her for her never ceasing appetite and for the fact that she remained so slim.

"Take out?" Peyton suggested suddenly craving Chinese food.

"Chinese food it is," he picked up the cell and placed their orders without even having to ask.

Peyton slid herself off the bed and ran her hand through her messy locks. "Well whilst we're waiting for the food to arrive I'm going to take a shower so I feel a little more human."

Lucas threw her a smile and she turned on her heel making her way to the bathroom.

An hour later after a warm shower and plenty of greasy junk food Peyton felt much more like herself as they laughed and joked. She sat with her legs draped over his lap wearing just her fluffy bath robe and letting her damp curls dry naturally. She was so comfortable with Lucas. Even in her long term relationships in the past it had taken her time to become so at ease with herself and them that she would act like this.

"So can we talk?" Lucas asked as he set down his chopsticks, a look of seriousness on his face.

"We are talking," she threw back but as the stabbing uncertainty crossed through his eyes she bit back her retort. "Sure."

Lucas's fingers played idly with the sleeve of her robe. "So I had a lot of time to think today while you were sleeping," he approached the subject cautiously. "And I really care about you Peyt. But I don't want us to be casual. Being with you is great and you're amazing but I don't want to hurt you. And I don't want this to just be about sex. I've had those kinds of relationships and they never end well. I guess I just need to know how you feel about us...."

"I like you," she blurted out. "A lot." She surprised both him and herself.

"Well I wasn't expecting that," he said though her unpredictable nature always kept him alert and on his toes.

Peyton allowed her head to play with the idea of them getting together. Her and Lucas; in a relationship and all the implications of them getting together. She bit her lip subconsciously. "I want to take it slow," she stated firmly and decisively.

"Ok," he uttered his response without a moment's hesitation.

"And I don't want to tell anyone until we know if we are serious or not." She loved his family like her own and if their budding flame fizzled out she didn't want to lose them. She continued on with her conditions and he just silently accepted them. "And I want you to get rid of that little black book."

Lucas got up from the couch then and strode purposely across the room and went to retrieve the offending book from his jacket pocket. Once he returned he placed the book into her hands. "Take it," he answered at her look of curiosity. Truth was back in High School and College Lucas had played the field as had Nathan until he'd fallen for Haley. But since meeting Peyton; Lucas hadn't wanted anyone else.

"What? Is Lucas Scott giving away his sexual freedom?" she teased.

"I'm serious about wanting to give us a go," he replied honestly.

Peyton nodded as she held his eyes with her own. It dawned on her that as he opened up his heart so readily to her she that could really fall for this man. And that fact both thrilled and terrified her.

"So how about it Ms Sawyer," he said then pulling her up on her feet and taking her hands in his. "How about we see where this goes for the next few months and if we last I'll let you burn the book."

"Ok," she replied. "We'll give us a try and see what happens." With a wide smile Lucas dipped his head down to kiss her long and tenderly.

"So can I ask you something now that we are giving us a try?" she asked then trailing a hand over his chest.

"Sure," he answered.

"Why did you ask if you could kiss me that night after you got your publishing deal?" That fateful night had started all of this and now curiosity got the better of her. She needed to know if Brooke had always been right about Lucas hiding his feelings for her or whether a moment's weakness had been the catalyst to the beginning of their relationship.

"I asked you because when you were standing next to me all night looking so god damned beautiful all I could think was that I wanted to kiss you. So when I got you home I took my chances."

"So you are just such a charmer...." she let her lips brush with his.

"I can be," he drawled as he brought her in for the kiss.

They continued their conversations continued well into the night. Together they lay tucked under her red comforter whilst they talked languidly and kissed. She rested her head on his chest and he played with her hair, occasionally cupping her chin with a strong hand and bringing her in for a kiss.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note - Hey guys so I know it's been a long while since I posted this story. I have been a little slack lately and I'm really sorry for that. My life has been super crazy of late but hopefully will now be settling down.

I wanted to thank everyone for their interest and support for this story. You lot always make me smile. I hope that you enjoy the latest instalment.

**All I Ever Wanted**

**Chapter 4 – The Shape of Things to Come**

Lucas stood in the corner of the large function room with a glass of Moet in hand and surveyed the throngs of people. He watched as Lindsey mingled with various members of the crowd and he adjusted his tie self consciously.

Three weeks ago Lucas had flown out to New York City now that his publishing deal had been finalised. He had spent the time meeting with her father and other associate editors. The rest of the time had been spent arguing with the brunette in his hotel room as they continued to work together on his novel.

Lindsey had explained that this gathering was supposed to be about networking. It was the perfect opportunity for Lucas to make himself known within the right circles. The room was full of aspiring and published authors, publicists and editors. He wasn't comfortable in these surroundings and that surprised him. Lucas was normally so confident and sure of himself but now felt unexpectedly out of his depths. He'd become used to the attentions and the glory that came from playing basketball. He had thrived on it back in High School. But this was different; the very works that came from his heart were both a source of great pride and great uncertainty.

Lucas took the final mouthful of the sharp liquid and his mind idly fluttered to the idea of going upstairs and calling Peyton. It was now two months since Peyton had agreed to give their relationship a try. He hated to be away from her whilst their romance was so new. He missed the fiery blonde. They would talk almost every night in effort to catch up on what was going on in each other's lives. He set down the empty champagne glass and excused himself from the function. After navigating through the strategically placed bodies he made his way to his hotel room.

Once inside the quiet space Lucas shrugged off his suit jacket and tie before picking up the phone from its cradle. He knew Peyton would most likely still be at work but he longed to hear her voice with its unmistakable southern twang and all of the reassurances it conjured within him. He was however fatefully greeted by the bleep of her voicemail and he exhaled before speaking. "Hi Peyt. It's me. I miss you. Call me when you get this."

After a beat Lucas hung up and moved over to the bed. He kicked off his shoes and settled onto the soft mattress with the tattered manuscript in hand. He scanned over the reams of sentences that flooded across the pages before him. Despite the fact that is was still early in the evening he felt his eyes soon beginning to droop.

An unexpected knock at the door sounded; causing Lucas to jerk into full awareness and he begrudgingly pulled his weary body from its resting place and went over to answer it.

"Hey," Lindsey said as she stood in the opening.

"Hi," Lucas replied rubbing at his bleary eyes as they regained focus.

"I just came up to check on you," she offered by way of explanation. "I didn't see you leave. Were you not having fun?"

Lucas shrugged his shoulders at the question. "I guess I'm just not really used to selling myself," he answered simply.

"Well that will come Lucas," she assured him gently. "What with all the book tours and publicity all of this will become second nature to you. Anyway can I come in? There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about."

"Sure. I guess so," Lucas moved from the door frame allowing her access to the room. He motioned for her to take a seat on the plush white couch before sitting down beside her. "So...?" he probed as Lindsey remained oddly silent.

"So my father and I were talking downstairs about the book," she said with a hint of caution. "He loves the book Lucas and so do I."

"I'm sensing a but is coming up," Lucas replied. He and Lindsey had got pretty close as they worked together. He had come to know her tones and expressions well enough by now to know that something wasn't right.

"Well," Lindsey paused momentarily as she bit her lip. "It's just the ending. Both my father and I were talking about it and we're both not too sure about it."

"Ok," Lucas felt his jaw tighten slightly. He had become used to the close scrutiny his works had been subjected to. He would sit for hours with her pawing over his manuscript and his head pulsating as they debated heatedly over the tiniest detail. He'd learnt to compromise with the young editor.

"I don't like the ending Luke. And my father agrees," Lindsey admitted tentatively breaking the tensed silence. She tilted her head in an effort to avoid his gaze she continued on with her reasoning. "I mean it's supposed to be a love story. The readers are going to want the boy and the girl to be together in the end."

Lucas felt his brow crinkle with the irritation. Small alterations were one thing and he had come to tolerate and expect that. However her suggestion now somewhat defeated the whole purpose of the book. "The book is about unrequited love," he explained. "It's about the power of that emotion. It's about love in its purest form and the protagonist's own sacrifice to make sure the girl he loves is happy."

"I get that Lucas. I really do. And it's a beautiful story. But I really do think the readers are going to want a happy ending. We just want the book to do well Luke," Lindsey said as she attempted to change tack. "The book is wonderful. The words are beautiful. But the girl marries someone else. The boy never even admits his true feelings. It just seems sad."

"It's how I want the story to end," Lucas stated firmly.

Lindsey pursed her lips together as she collected her thoughts. "Ok," she said softly. She sensed how deeply he felt on the subject and knew he wouldn't waver from his decision. She beamed at him. "You know when I first read the book I became so lost in its beauty and its innocence. I told my father we had to work with you to get it published and seen by the world. It spoke to me Luke, out of the hundreds of manuscripts I've taken home in my career this one struck me as special."

"Thank you," Lucas uttered gratefully.

Lindsey moved towards him. The move surprised him. He jolted into awareness as her face was now mere inches from his own. He immediately pulled away. Lucas's mind snapped only to Peyton. There was no doubt about it; Peyton was the girl he wanted so desperately to be with. He didn't want to jeopardise that.

"Lindsey?"Lucas murmured questioningly. He pulled himself up to his feet again attempting to put some distance between them.

"I just thought that..." the brunette stammered. She rose up to her feet. "It's just the book's about you. And I thought..."

"I'm seeing someone Lindsey," Lucas told her.

"Oh. I'm sorry Luke," Lindsey fumbled as her face flushed with a mixture of both disappointment and embarrassment. She brushed a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry. I thought that..."

"I didn't mean to give you that impression," he said gently. He felt terrible as she had invested so much into him and given him the opportunity he'd only dreamt about previously.

"No it's fine. Really." Lindsey struggled to maintain her calm and professional demeanour now that her true feelings for him had been revealed. "Listen I've been working you pretty hard. Why don't you head back to Tree Hill early? I can fly over and catch up with you there next week."

"Ok," Lucas agreed.

"Great," the woman picked up her small purse before she practically bolted from the hotel suite. Lucas sucked in a deep gulp of air as he tried to process what he just spiralled out before him.

-- --

Peyton stood with paint brush in hand as she worked way into the night on the canvass in front of her. She had converted the upstairs of the gallery into a studio where she could paint. She would often disappear up there for hours at a time. It helped her think. She worked quietly mixing and blended the colours as she allowed the image in her mind to flow readily onto the once blank canvass. After a while she took a step back and examined her work with a critical eye.

She had been spending a lot of her spare time there since Lucas had been in New York. Being in her apartment on her own now just seemed too cold and empty. She was reluctant to admit it even to herself but she had got into the habit of not wanting to sleep without him. It was silly and uncharacteristically girly of her; things that she never thought she would ever be again. She missed him more than she thought she would. He had been a constant fixture in her life for so long now. She missed his goofy grin. She missed his jokes and his teasing her. It had only been a few weeks since they had started dating but Peyton felt the tell tale signs swelling within her.

The click at the door opening and a creak of the wooden floor stirred her from her musings and told her she was no longer alone. She knew instinctively that it was him without having to turn around. His footsteps were so slight and so familiar. His arms encircled her from behind and she melted against him. His lips brushed against her neck as he breathed her in and kissed her gently. "Hi," he whispered at the shell of his ear.

"Hi," she turned to face him then, need and want overtaking her. She rose up on her toes wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. He responded eagerly pulling her close, kissing back with such a delicate blend of passion and tenderness.

"Hi," Lucas said grinning as they broke apart from their frenzied welcome.

"I didn't think you were back until the weekend," Peyton uttered as she secretly relished how good it felt to be back in his arms. "You should've called me. I would've come to pick you up from the airport."

"I know," his hand brushed the tousled curls from her eyes. "But I wanted to surprise you."

"I'm glad you did." Her fingers toyed with the buttons of his shirt.

"I missed you Blondie," he said lightly kissing her paint flecked nose and causing her to giggle.

Peyton bit her lip shyly, "yeah?"

"Yeah I did. I don't suppose you missed me?" His tone of voice was laced with hope and a hint of insecurity that she rarely detected from him.

"Maybe a little," she said through a sweet smile.

"That's good then." Lucas moved back to kiss her.

"So how was New York?" Peyton asked after they broke from the clinch.

"It was good. I worked hard but it was great and an experience. The sights were amazing. But...." he trailed off.

"But what?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

"Lindsey and I kind of clashed over the ending of my book. She wants me to change it. Her father wants me to change it."

"Why?" Peyton asked.

"They want me to change it because they both aren't sold on the ending," Lucas offered.

"I'm sorry Luke," she cradled his large hand in her smaller ones. "You've got to do what feels right for you though. I know how important the book is to you. Go with your heart Luke. The book will be great. You're great. I have faith in you."

"Yeah, you think so?" His very blue eyes twinkled with newly restored optimism.

"I know so."

"You know you're really sexy when you talk like that." He caught her back up into his arms. By just being with her made him feel like he was capable of achieving his wildest dreams. "It's ok though. I mean it gave me a chance to come home early. And spend some time with my gorgeous new girlfriend."

"My place?" she suggested then.

-- --

Peyton and Lucas lay entwined together on her couch together an hour later. They talked and laughed easily in the dimly lit lounge and she couldn't remember a time when she had felt more warm and safe. Her usually scurrying mind was focused simply on the here and now. There were no thoughts of work, schedules, Brooke's wedding plans or anything other than being with her boyfriend. As Lucas held her tight and close to his chest she just felt calmness and contentment. She watched the slight flicker of the amber flames at her fire place and felt her eyes flutter.

Lucas's hand stroked her bare shoulder so softly it was more like a whisper of a touch. "Peyt, are you asleep?" he asked breaking the silence.

"Not quite," she murmured back to him. She snuggled in closer. "This is nice."

"Yeah it is." He lifted his head from its resting place on the couch's arm and pressed a kiss into the crown of her curls. "Do you want to talk?"

"We are talking," she replied jovially. Her hand was now idly drawing lazy and indistinct patterns on his chest. She raised her green orbs to meet with his serious icy blue ones.

"No," he said as his tone altered faintly. "I mean talk about stuff."

"Like what?" she mumbled back.

Lucas shrugged his shoulders slightly against her resting frame. "You know; like real stuff. I want to know everything about you Peyton. You know a lot about me and about my past. You've met my whole family. And I know almost nothing about you."

It had dawned on him long before he'd even begun 'seeing' her that while Peyton would engage and monopolise on conversations between them and talk for hours about whatever subject was brought up she'd steer clear away from certain things. He'd remembered in the first year he'd known her how she'd withdrawn from him, Haley and Nathan for a period of days. He'd found out only afterwards that it had been the anniversary of her mother's death. And on the occasions that she did answer sensitive questions on her past she preferred to gloss over the subject quickly and move on. Peyton Sawyer still remained a mystery in his eyes in so many ways.

"What do you want to know?" Peyton asked nervously.

Lucas had always been questioning and curious. He'd ask her things and she felt as though he was trying to probe at the entrance to her heart. He wanted to get in. She knew that. Their conversations were becoming more personal. He'd steer his questions towards her and as she answered them he'd pursue them further. He wanted to know everything about her. She just wasn't sure she was ready to tell him every small intimate detail.

"I don't know," Lucas said staring out at the night's sky. "Things like when your last relationship was. Why it ended."

Peyton shifted from him into a sitting position. She remained silent for a moment and decided on the best way to recount the story to him.

"His name was Michael," Peyton said after taking a deep shaking breath. "I met him in my final year at college. He was a musician. He was temperamental and passionate. I fell for him in a big way. Our relationship moved way too fast. We got engaged after a year. I was young and in love and I thought I always would be. My dad and Brooke both didn't like him. My dad didn't think he was good enough for me and Brooke just said that there was something about him. That should have tipped me off. But I didn't listen. I didn't want to I guess.

"Anyway we started to grow apart after I started work and he was away a lot on tours. One night when I came home early to surprise I found him in bed with someone else. He said it didn't mean anything. He told me it was just a moment of weakness. I called off the engagement. I couldn't face all of our friends knowing. I didn't want the shame and the pity so I moved away."

"I'm sorry Peyt," Lucas said softly after she had admitted to the truth of the demise of her relationship and why she had moved to Tree Hill. He watched as she pulled herself further from him and folded her legs underneath her body.

"It's ok," she looped her hair behind her ear. "Live and learn right?"

"Back in college," Lucas began saying. "I was in a steady relationship. Her name was Kirsten. In the first year we hung out. We'd dated on and off and slept together. It was kind of a friends with benefits thing. But she meant more to me than that. We were really alike and back then I thought of her as a soul mate. We got together in the beginning of the second year exclusively. It was great."

Peyton lifted her head as Lucas took a deep breath and she couldn't help but notice how his expression changed.

"During our final year Kirsten got pregnant. I was so happy and so excited. I proposed to her. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes. Everything was great. It was perfect. I was going to marry my soul mate and we were going to have a baby." Lucas swallowed hard as he recounted the next part. "We moved in together just after graduation. Kirsten started doing these forgetful pregnant things. You know just like leaving things around. I found a letter. I know I shouldn't have read it.

"I remember reading the letter and my world fell apart. It said; _I don't think you should tell Lucas that the baby may not be his. You're going to get married and you never know the baby might be his."_

Peyton's hand reached to cover Lucas's as he paused. Her own head was trying to process the sensitive revelation that was flowing from him. His vulnerability made him even more endearing to her.

"I pretended I hadn't read it. I just pretended none of it was happening. I wanted her to come to me and tell me the truth. She didn't. She carried on as if everything was perfectly fine. But I think she knew though. Finally after Haley convinced me I needed to be honest with myself and with Kirsten aswell. I did confront her. I came home and asked her about it. She didn't deny it. She cried and admitted she'd been seeing her ex whilst going home for the summer. She told me she didn't know who the father was; though she and I had always used protection and admitted that she and her ex hadn't.

"The thing is it didn't matter to me. I loved her and I would have stood by her. I would have stayed with her Peyt. She wouldn't have it though. She left the next day."

Peyton stroked his hand as sadness overtook her. Lucas's story made her feel sad. He had been through more than she'd realised. But sharing their past histories and broken hearts also made her feel closer to him.

"The thing is," Lucas continued his voice thick with emotion. "After Kirsten and up until you came into my life Peyt I slept around. I didn't want to get attached again. Until you I didn't think I would ever feel this way again." His fingers brushed over the fine bones of her knuckles "But I do Peyt. And I don't want to lose this."

"Me either," Peyton said. The information and soul bearing confessions hung between them in the now heavy atmosphere in the room.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he lifted her chin in his cupped hand and their eyes interlocked. "I promise you."

"Come here," she replied pulling him close.

They lay back down together and Peyton snuggled in close to him. She'd missed his soft yet manly scent. She'd missed laying her head on his chest and falling asleep whilst listening to his steady rhythmic heartbeat. "Luke," she whispered.

"Yeah."

"I'm really happy. Being with you I mean."

Lucas smiled at her admission. "I'm really happy with you too Peyt."

Lucas Scott, the man she'd known as a charmer, friend, confidant and newly found lover continued to surprise her and was becoming so much more. She was falling for him. She could feel it. And what was even more wonderful and unexpected was she didn't want to run from him.


End file.
